wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
