Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
