At least make sure they are 18
Why
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
