Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
