i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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