You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
