he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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