Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
