Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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