names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize