Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
pop tarts are not kleenex
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
