I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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