Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
