i permit you to call me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
