No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Success! We fucked roommates!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize