It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize