I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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