rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
