Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
