Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize