well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
