Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sorry about my life...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
