ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
