I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
