New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
