well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
