The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
