Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
