South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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