You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
