We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
nutella sex= disaster
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
