Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
