He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
