It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
