Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
