i don't like sucking hair
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
