Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
