Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
