I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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