I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize