mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
They took my balls.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
wow bdsm is so cute
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