Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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