We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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