He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We need to get me chipped asap
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
