He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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