You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
smell my finger.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize