ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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