Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
