It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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