we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
