just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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