I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
