another moral hangover. fuck.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
