she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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