real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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