used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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