Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
