I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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