508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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