I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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