at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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