You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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