Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
