Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm always down for nudity.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
