And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
