So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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