I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
