guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
