yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
