It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
