i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
