Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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