you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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