Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just had sex bonerless
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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