we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
