There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Non-Jews are for practice
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize