She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
