just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
