This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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