I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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