is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
