my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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