I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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